Acknowledge

Charlotte Miles:
Ooh. I’m still trying to find that one out. Yeah. So what you’re describing is actually a session that Naomi Honey does at WIPW. And yeah, you would never, ever, ever, ever say these things to somebody else that you’d be willing to say to yourself. So therefore I’m exploring let’s say, the inner child that has these very aggressive kind of words for one’s self, but also knowing that the coach can exist internally as well. And so I try and coach myself through those things. It’s still an ongoing process. But I think the first thing to do as well is just to acknowledge that that monologue or those words exist. Those feelings are okay. That I think a lot of the times we’re trying to push aside. There’s a lot of shoulds and there’s not a lot of acceptance. And what I try to do is acknowledge and accept who I am and where I am and what I am in the moment. So if I am feeling aggressive towards myself to know that those feelings are apart from me, they are not me. They’re a quality, a substance, that is put on top. And to be able to see those things and decide for myself whether I want to inhabit them.

Charlotte Miles:
Like items of clothing, do I really want to wear this right now? And I think a lot of people don’t feel capable of making that choice and they don’t have the language or the experience to be able to say that this is something that’s separate from me and yes it’s coming from me, but I don’t need to embody it. I can acknowledge the fact that I feel this way, rightly or wrongly. I might hate myself in this moment, but those are just feelings. And I might feel like I’m not enough. I might feel like I’m shit at something, I’m terrible, I’m a bad person, I’m a bad athlete, whatever it is. But these are just feelings about who I am and my performance and I don’t need to indulge in them. I can just allow them to be and then I can decide to move away from them.

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For one person

Charlotte Miles:
No. My knee jerk answer is hustle. I said this a million times over. I’m really not smart. I’m not well educated. I’m definitely not the most intelligent person in the room, but my god will I outwork anyone.

Craig:
Will Smith said, paraphrasing, something like you may have it on me in 19 categories, might be bigger, smarter, faster, but he said I’ll guarantee one thing. If we get on a treadmill together I’m getting off after you or I’m dying. And he was just like work, work, work, work, work. In the spirit of that.

Charlotte Miles:
Yeah. So I guess I’m trying to hone that in that I’m trying to learn when it’s time to work hard and when it’s time not to.

Craig:
I was going to say if I can venture to mention back to where we all started with this, that can be a vicious beast to feed. I have the same work ethic or the same … If I just work on this a little bit more. And I want to ask have you made any progress on how do you keep that dog reined in so that you don’t let your superpower wind up destroying the rest of your life?

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Three words to describe your practice

Craig:
It’s really scary. The question contains the word practice. I’m going to ask you a question about your practice. You can interpret practice to mean your entire life, your parkour, whatever you like. And you don’t have to tell me what that is. Just use the question to do whatever you want to do with it. The question is, I always say, and of course the final question is three words to describe your practice.

Charlotte Miles:
Three minute pause. It’s definitely going to … Heart, story, strength.

Purpose and Death

Charlotte Miles:
I think about that all the time. My notion of time is quite different to other people’s I would say. I’ve experienced a lot of departures from my life and kind of ones that have happened very abruptly. So as a result of that I try to … Not I try to. I just do have an underlying kind of notion that there is no tomorrow and so you must do everything that you need to in the moment. Make no presumptions about the fact that tomorrow will be or that there is another day, another day, another day. You just don’t know.

Craig:
At the risk of interrupting you, I noticed that you said, do everything that you need to do as opposed to everything that you can do. And I think that’s a very important distinction. And I don’t know how intentionally you’re choosing your words, but I think most people would say that they need to do everything that they can do today if they’re going to hold that mindset of uncertainty and I think that’s a very … Enlightened is not quite the word. But I think it’s a very wise observation on your part to say, I’m choosing to do the things that I need to do for me. And because you and I both know that means that you’re also able to do the work that helps others. But putting yourself first and taking care and doing those needs, I think that’s very important.

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Monsters and Dancing

Charlotte Miles:
Yeah, you just get to the heart of who you are very quickly within this training and you can avoid that in other training areas because you’re not having to embrace fear all the time. The second you get scared, you have to meet yourself. And you might not like what it is that you see and some of that voice that kicks off might uncover areas that you have been avoiding for awhile. And that certainly is the case for me with parkour. I managed to kind of coach myself out of that with strength and conditioning and moved away from crossfit because the redlining in that when I was-

Craig:
Feed the monster, right?

Charlotte Miles:
Yeah. It wasn’t good. But that being said, that’s why there’s something about parkour that is enabling me to deal with these things. And that’s why I can’t step away from it. I’m forever asking coaches, just throw me a bone here. Tell me that this is just not for me. Tell me I’m never going to be good at this. Please.

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056. Charlotte Miles: Full Transcript

Craig: Welcome to the Mover’s Mindset podcast, where I interview movement enthusiasts to find out who thank you are, what they do, and why they do it. In this episode, Charlotte Miles shares her motivations for coaching, why it’s important to her, and how it fits into her life. She delves into more difficult topics. Emotional and energy recovery, personal struggles, and her experiences with mortality and grief. Charlotte discusses how parkour affects her life, her definition of success, and finishes with real life superpowers and finding purpose.

Craig: Hello. I’m Craig Constantine.

Charlotte: Hey, I’m Charlotte Miles.

Craig: Charlotte Miles is a coach, athlete, filmmaker, and an entrepreneur. Her curiosity for human movement has seen both her training and coaching career span various forms. From contemporary dance, crossfit, and Olympic weightlifting, to strongman, and now parkour. In addition to this, Charlotte is the lead creative at Parkour Generations, managing design, branding, and social media, and is the founder of Iron Heart Studios, her own media company committed to rich, resonating, and responsible storytelling. Welcome Charlotte.

Charlotte: Hey Craig. Thank you so much for having me.

Craig: Charlotte, as I was reading about some of the things you’ve done, I’m torn between … I wanted to just have the whole meta conversation about creativity in terms of working with media and interviewing people, and I’m not sure how interesting that would be to everybody else. But let’s start there a little bit and I’m wondering what your thoughts are being on the pointy end of the creative process. The sharp end.

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056. Charlotte Miles: Motivation, emotional recovery, and purpose

056. Charlotte Miles: Motivation, emotional recovery, and purpose

 
 
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Charlotte Miles shares her motivations for coaching, why it’s important to her, and how it fits into her life. She delves into more difficult topics; energy and emotional recovery, personal struggles, and her experiences with mortality and grief. Charlotte discusses how parkour affects her life, her definition of success, and finishes with real life superpowers and finding purpose.

Charlotte took the time to write an accompanying article, I Am NOT Afraid to Talk About Suicide, for her episode, where she shares more of her thoughts on suicide.

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I am NOT afraid to talk about suicide

Shame is a powerful thing. It can turn the strongest of us to blubbering wrecks, it can freeze our bodies to the spot, cause us to retreat in on ourselves, to grow small and even act completely in opposition to our nature. Shame silences us. It convinces us that we’re alone and this alienation only drives us deeper into solitude.

Even after years of grappling with my ghosts, my shame still haunts me. It catches my words in my throat and renders me speechless. Why? Because like a bully that doesn’t want you to speak out against the tormentors, this emotion knows that words are the way out. Like a boa-constrictor, it coils its tail around our throats, choking our ability to share and therefore connect; because when we share an emotion we remove its power and make it more manageable to deal with, eventually relinquishing its hold on us. Talking about our feelings enables us to step out of isolation and realise that we’re not so different or alone after all.

My process towards connection continues here. I hope that by sharing the words in text that I couldn’t on the microphone, I’ll manage not only to lessen my own isolation, but perhaps to aid someone else out of theirs too.

Here goes…

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